Review: Alestorm, "Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum"

The pirate ship has been righted and is back on course.

I’ve been a fanboy and evangelist for Alestorm since their debut album Captain Morgan’s Revenge in 2008. Christopher Bowes and his goofy band of pirates have put plenty of smiles on my face, and I’ve shouted the band’s praises from the rooftops so loudly that a lot of people I talk music with regularly have probably wished they could make me walk the plank.

Their last lackluster outing, Curse of the Crystal Coconut, left me scratching my head by putting far more emphasis on the goofy than the pirate – and just honestly not featuring many memorable moments. But, hey, 2020 was a rough year for everyone. And so was 2021, particularly for Bowes who became embroiled in some controversy around one of his other bands, Gloryhammer. But in 2022, the world, and the seas, have opened back up. Bowes takes to them with gusto.

Review: Alestorm, "Curse of the Crystal Coconut"

To say that I anticipated this album more than any other in 2020 would be an understatement. Through five albums with Alestorm and three with Gloryhammer, Christopher Bowes has never disappointed me – and the band’s last outing, 2017’s No Grave but the Sea, was its best to date. I’ve sung the praises of Bowes at the top of my lungs, and his music has been a source of great joy for me for more than a decade. So it pains me to write this, but the magic just isn’t here on this one. It’s not a bad album by any means, but it’s just not on par with what they’ve done in the past.

Curse of the Crystal Coconut was always going to have a hard time following No Grave but the Sea. That release was near perfect. Bowes and crew were performing at the height of their piratical prowess on that one, and three years later, there’s not a song on it that gets the skip button. But the strong melodies and catchy hooks of No Grave are traded in here for a collection of middle-of-the-road songs that lack much of the charm I’ve come to expect.

Playlist 2017 Week 3: Firewind, Bob Wayne, Living Colour, Iced Earth, Alestorm

For week 3 of the playlist, we've got hard rock sounds, country, a little funkiness and a late pirate attack.


Firewind, "Back on the Throne" from Immortals. Guitarist Gus G may not have gotten to record an album with Ozzy Osbourne, but he was clearly writing for it. There's some great classic rock riffage that will certainly remind listeners of both Jake E. Lee and Zakk Wylde. This tune's a little different from the rest of the record, but very cool.

Playlist 2017 Week 1: Alestorm, White Light Cemetery, Cellar Darling, Fozzy

I'm still trying to decide whether it's worth doing an end-of-year list for 2017. You'll note that I didn't write much this year, and while it's true that I was busier than normal, it's also because there wasn't a whole lot that excited me musically this year. That said, there were a couple of great records and a handful of really good songs. So I'll start with my playlist and see where it goes.


Alestorm - "Fucked with an Anchor" from No Grave but the Sea. Let's go ahead and get this one out of the way, since everyone knows it's coming. I called it as my song of the year when I reviewed the album, and that hasn't changed. This silly profane song was the most fun that I had this year musically, and you'll be seeing Alestorm again in this playlist.

Review: Alestorm, "No Grave but the Sea"

I haven’t written much on music this year and, frankly, it’s because not a lot has excited me through the first half of the year. There are a couple of records I’ve liked that I need to catch up on, but nothing has really blown me away. Until, of course, Alestorm’s No Grave But the Sea arrived.

Let’s start at the obvious starting point, the title that probably caught most fans’ attention when the song list was released a while back: “Fucked with an Anchor.” And, yes, it’s even more epic than you imagined. It’s easily the band’s most profane song, and also one of the catchiest in Alestorm’s catalog. It tells the story of a man cursed at birth with an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you look at it) speech impediment and his quest for revenge against the witch doctor that put the curse on him.

Saturday Shuffle: Soilwork, Tesla, Anthrax, Scatterbrain, Alestorm

Pretty heavy lineup this week -- some new stuff, some old stuff and ending with some fun ...


Soilwork, “Memories Confined.” From the album The Living Infinite (2013). One of the tracks from the mellower, more melodic side of last year’s Soilwork double album. It’s not really one of the more memorable, but it’s not bad, either.

Review: Alestorm, "Sunset on the Golden Age"

Though lots of pirate metal bands have popped up since Alestorm’s 2008 debut album Captain Morgan’s Revenge, none have captured the feel and spirit of it better than these Scots.

On their fourth full-length album Sunset on the Golden Age, Alestorm has just as much fun as on the previous three. By now, you mostly know what you’re getting from the band — thrash-influenced songs about wenching, plundering and grogging, a stray sea shanty here or there and plenty of bombastic symphonics worthy of a pirate movie soundtrack.

I’d like to begin this review by thanking Christopher Bowes and company for immortalizing me in song on my personal favorite track (for obvious reasons), “Mead from Hell.” I’m joking, of course, but it adds to the fun since I don’t hear the name Fred in the music I listen to much. It’s just not a very metal name. That aside, the song is just a great, catchy romp across the sea, as is most of the record.

Saturday Shuffle: Poison, BLS, Quiet Riot, Pantera, Alestorm

A guilty pleasure, a rare miss from Zakk Wylde and the beginnings of my metal journey ...


“Look What the Cat Dragged In,” Poison. From the album Look What the Cat Dragged In (1986). So, yeah, it’s tough to defend Poison, but I will defend this song against the most ardent of hair metal haters. The riff is tough as nails – the best in the band’s repertoire, and despite its shallow nature, it’s a great hard rock song.

Saturday Shuffle: Down, Alestorm, Jon Oliva's Pain, Pantera, Philip Anselmo

A very Phil-centric shuffle this week ...

Down, “The Seed.” From the album Down II (2002). The power of the riff compels me. Down II, despite what some think, may just be my favorite album from the band. This tune is a great groover with the usual Sabbath and stoner rock overtones that you get from the band. Good stuff that’s as sludgy as the south Louisiana swamps it was born from.

Review: Alestorm, "Back Through Time"

I’ve developed a theory that you can’t stay angry or be in a bad mood while listening to Alestorm. In recent months, that theory has been sorely tested, but every time, the goofy Scottish pirates have managed to conquer my frustrations after a few songs. So, along comes their third record, Back Through Time, just in time. I’ve used “Keelhauled” on the drive home after work so many times it was starting to lose effectiveness, so I needed some fresh piratey sing-alongs, and this record delivers a treasure chest-load of them.

Review: Wuthering Heights, "Salt"

I remember being asked to review a Wuthering Heights CD a few years back for Teeth of the Divine, and I remember two things about that record. First, the Emily Bronte-inspired band name that wouldn’t really entice me to pick it up otherwise, and second, that I didn’t really care for it much. I guess things can change in a few years.

I initially passed on an offer to review their latest, “Salt,” for Teeth, but decided after reading Erik Thomas’ review of it there to give it a chance. I’ve been pleasantly surprised.

Review: Swashbuckle, "Back to the Noose"

I can't deny the little tingle of excitement I had when I read the description of Swashbuckle -- a thrash pirate metal band. Pirate metallers Alestorm have been one of my happiest discoveries of the past few years, and thrash is my preferred subgenre of the metal world. I couldn't wait to get my hands on "Back to the Noose."

My initial reaction to the music here was a bit of disappointment. Rather than a pirate thrash album, this seemed to be a thrash record that just happened to have songs about piracy. I missed the quirky folk elements that Alestorm brings to the table. Once I got past that initial disappointment, I had to admit, though, that the thrash elements of the record were pretty solid. They're short, punchy songs with plenty of speed and intensity to spare. The blazing riff and memorable chorus of the title track is a perfect example of what this band does best. "Peg-leg Stomp" opens with an appropriately grooving thrash stomp, which returns on the chorus, making it one of my favorite tunes here. "No Prey No Pay" bashes away with an S.O.D.-like assault that's a staple for many of the thrash numbers. "The Grog Box" opens with a bouncing riff and blends in just a little traditional metal influence in the guitar melody, while "Attack" just bashes the listener over the head.

A few of the tracks give me the kind of thing I was really expecting from the record. "Rounds of Rum" is another favorite, with it's sing-along drinking song feel. "Splash-n-Thrash" is a close second with some guitar work that has that pirate movie soundtrack feel and a great, heavy breakdown.

There are some interesting piratical interludes that are hit and miss. Album opener "Hoist the Mainsail" is an excellent mood-setter. "Cloudy with a Chance of Piracy," on the other hand, sounds (I suppose, appropriately) like something you'd hear during the forecast on the weather channel (or maybe in the background at a seafood restaurant). Some are almost like checking in at different ports of call. "Carnivale Boat Ride" has a bit of a Celtic feel, "La Leyenda" has an interesting Spanish flavor, "Tradewinds" features some medieval influence. Some just get in the way, like the goofy skits "Rime of the Haggard Mariner" and "All Seemed Fine Until," which the record could really have done without. But when they get the interludes right, they work well, particularly the piece "Shipwrecked" near the end of the album, which is perhaps the most impressive and moving of the interludes, at least until the spoken word poetry bit comes in.

Despite that, though, I think the interludes and attempts to be more "piratey" work against what's a pretty solid collection of thrash tunes. Even though some of them are interesting, more often they just get in the way and slow down an album that, for the most part, is anything but.

Get "Back to the Noose."

Review: Alestorm, "Black Sails at Midnight"

Scottish pirate metal outfit Alestorm has to be one of the best musical discoveries I've made in years. Their debut record, "Captain Morgan's Revenge," was one of my favorites of 2008, and their latest outing "Black Sails at Midnight" is even better.

After teasing fans with the "Leviathan" EP, which featured two of the songs from "Black Sails at Midnight," ahead of a U.S. tour earlier this year, Alestorm has unleashed 10 tracks with nary a skip to be found. The biggest thing you'll notice on this record is that the band seems to be getting very comfortable with a signature sound. The first record had a lot of folk, but also had a few straight thrash numbers. The influence is still there on "Black Sails at Midnight," but every song here features some sort of folk metal touch.

The strongest track to be found on the record is probably "Keelhauled," which opens with an accordion and violin stomp before adding a battering thrash riff and an infectious chorus reminiscent of the title track from "Captain Morgan's Revenge." It's high energy, great fun, and it has an outstanding violin riff. How often do you get to say that about a metal record? The other track that will probably get your attention quickly is album closer "Wolves of the Sea," which first appeared on "Leviathan." It's a galloping cover of a bad Latvian pop song that works like a lucky charm for Alestorm. The silly "hi-hi-ho" and "hi-hi-hey" chorus worms its way into your head like the theme song of a children's show and gets stuck there. (I'll admit that between my repeated listens to "Keelhauled" and my son requesting "Wolves of the Sea" over and over, the rest of the record has gotten a bit shortchanged.)

There's also a maturing (well, as mature as guys wearing pirate outfits can get) of the songwriting here that's perhaps most noticeable on the soft, clean guitar work that opens semi-ballad "To the End of Our Days." It's so delicate that it seems out of place on this raucous record, but that's what makes it so striking. While the rest of the song shows some of the weaknesses in Christopher Bowes' salty dog vocals, it's undeniably piratey.

Unlike "Captain Morgan's Revenge," which had a few duds, every song on "Black Sails at Midnight" works, and there's a pleasing variety. The record opens with the blistering guitar riffing of "The Quest" which sets the energy level high. "Leviathan" provides an epic, seafaring number. "Pirate Song" is a storytelling tune that has a bit of sea shanty in it. The soaring instrumental "No Quarter" shows off the band's musical prowess and proves that it's not just the lyrics that make this "pirate metal." Guitarist Dani Evans, who has switched over from bass, gets the spotlight on the song, and impresses. There are also some nice nods to songs from the last record in "No Quarter," particularly a melodic bit pulled from "Set Sail and Conquer."

Bowes also gets credit for his keyboard work. In general, I think keyboards don't belong in metal, but I'll make an exception for these, which are perfect and give the songs the feel of a pirate movie soundtrack. It's particularly solid on "Chronicles of Vengeance," where the keys are the primary instrument.

One more note on this record that most of you won't hear: Often, in an attempt to thwart file-sharing, record companies put voiceovers on promos where a recorded message plays over the music on a regular basis. In general, I detest them and won't review a record that features them because it disrupts the flow of the music. This one was done quite creatively, though, in a pirate voice that reminds you "piracy is a crime." I couldn't help but laugh every time it came on, and I give the record company kudos for that one. (Though I still hate voiceovers.)

If you don't take your metal too seriously, check out "Black Sails at Midnight." I guarantee you won't have more fun listening to a metal record this year.

Get "Black Sails at Midnight."

Review: Alestorm, "Leviathan"

In a 2008 filled with great metal records, Alestorm's "Captain Morgan's Revenge" may not have been the best from a musical standpoint, but when it comes to pure, unadulterated, campy fun, no one topped these Scottish pirate metallers.

In time for a U.S. tour, and in anticipation of the follow-up record due out later this year, we get this four-song EP. The record opens with the title track, a six-minute ode to the fabled beast of the deep that has just as much camp as last year's record, if not quite as much fun. It follows the power/folk metal blend that they established on the last record, though it lacks the big hook that so many of those songs had.

Less interesting is a reworking of the tune "Heavy Metal Pirates" from their original demo, which is more corny than fun, and a German version of "Wenches and Mead" from the last record.

The centerpiece of this EP, though, is a song called "Wolves of the Sea," which I'm told by a European friend is a cover of an awful pop song by a Latvian band called Pirates of the Sea. It seems to have been tailor-made for Alestorm, though, and it delivers all the fun and silliness that I expect from them. Yes, it's a bit goofy, but it's also impossible to get out of your head.

While history is littered with metal bands that take a gimmick too seriously and make a joke of themselves, the difference here is that Alestorm is in on the joke, and they play it to the hilt. If you're a fan of power or folk metal with a sense of humor, it's sure to leave a big grin on your face. I'm looking forward to the full record later this year.

Get "Leviathan."

Review: Alestorm, "Captain Morgan's Revenge"

I've been recommending this record to people for months, so it's about time I get around to posting a review.

No description of Alestorm could possibly be better than the one they give themselves -- Scottish pirate metal. Blending power metal, keyboard lines inspired by the scores of countless pirate movies, the classic sea shanty and lyrics about sailing, wenching, grogging and pillaging, it's undeniably cheesy. It's also undeniably fun.

The folk metal elements of the music are obviously heavily influenced by Korpiklaani, but I find Alestorm's brand just a bit more fun. I can easily picture vocalist Christopher Bowes staggering around in full Jack Sparrow get-up and waving his cutlass in the air as he delivers songs like "Nancy the Tavern Wench," "Of Treasure" or the goofy "Wenches and Mead," which would be almost sexist enough to make the members of Motley Crue blush. But, we are talking about pirates here.

The record opens with the high seas adventure of "Over the Seas" which prepares the listener for the pirate power that's coming. The band covers a lot of metal ground over the course of the record. There's the pure power metal of songs like "Set Sail and Conquer," the Annihilator-inspired thrash of "Death Before the Mast" and "Terror on the High Seas," and of course the folky feel of "Of Treasure" and "Flower of Scotland." Alestorm does high speed blazers and mid-tempo songs equally well, as "Nancy the Tavern Wench" and the barroom sing-along shanty "Of Treasure" fare just as well as some of the more high octane numbers.

One of my favorite aspects of the record is the handling of the gang vocals. If you've listened to much power metal, you're familiar with its handling of those -- perfectly harmonized and tweaked within an inch of their life until they're as flawless as possible. Alestorm takes a rougher approach. They're not exactly what I'd call out of tune, but it's a little looser style that gives the impression of a group of salty dogs singing on the deck. When it works, as on the title track, which also stands as perhaps the strongest tune here, it's great. I dare you to listen to that chorus and not want to raise a pint and sing along. They do occasionally take it too far, though, as on the weakest number, "Flower of Scotland," where it sound too much like a rowdy, drunken, out of tune rabble. Of course, that's probably closer to the real pirate singing experience (if in fact there be such a thing).

Your tolerance for this record will probably depend on your tolerance for tongue-in-cheek humor in your metal. The dark, uber-serious crowd that rants about how "Metalocalypse" is making a mockery of metal will probably want to skip it. But if you enjoy a good laugh and some fun, well-played folk metal that doesn't take itself too seriously, definitely check it out. Alestorm's debut is silly and over the top, but it's still somehow enjoyable and quite addictive. Har, mateys.

Get "Captain Morgan's Revenge."