The year was 1997, and I had just logged on to the internet. After a few months of cruising around and checking things out, I came up with some big plans. I'd always wanted to be an entertainment writer and own a bookstore, and the internet put those possibilities in front of me.
On the World Wide Web, I could reach an audience that would appreciate my reviews of heavy metal music and fantasy books like the readers of the newspaper that I was writing for at the time never would. Associates programs gave me the opportunity to have a book and music store without a lot of the hassle of actually running a book and music store. It was the perfect storm, so I thought.
That led to the launch of two sites on the old members.aol.com servers, The Hall of the Mountain King (viewable via the Internet Archive), which served as landing page and music site, and The Bookwyrm (also viewable via the Internet Archive), which housed my book content. In my mind, these two sites would eventually become go-to hubs for content on fantasy fiction and heavy metal. As you can see, that didn't work out quite as I'd planned.
Pretty heavy lineup this week -- some new stuff, some old stuff and ending with some fun ...
Soilwork, “Memories Confined.” From the album The Living Infinite (2013). One of the tracks from the mellower, more melodic side of last year’s Soilwork double album. It’s not really one of the more memorable, but it’s not bad, either.
What do thrash, Cheech and Chong, Mozart and some of the greatest riffs in hard rock history have in common?
This sadly forgotten gem of an album.
Scatterbrain arose from the ashes of singer Tommy Christ and guitarist Glen Cummings’ previous outfit Ludichrist with a more thrash feel and a bigger focus on humor. Yes, Here Comes Trouble is something of a novelty album, but the comedy is delivered over some pretty solid chops throughout.
If anyone remembers a song from this record, it’s likely the single and video “Don’t Call Me Dude,” a goofy but hilarious tune about a guy who snaps when his girlfriend leaves him for a burly lifeguard on the beach. The song goes through several movements, and the video follows, with the band mimicking various eras of rock ‘n’ roll from doo-wop to 1980s glam. It’s all a lot of fun, but like most of the rest of the album, the underpinnings of the song are very solid thrash licks.
This week's shuffle finds me preparing for battle, digging a little double entendre and laughing along with a forgotten gem ...
Turisas, “As Torches Rise.”
From the album Battle Metal (2004). Symphonic, epic, folk battle metal. I don’t
like this song quite as much as the title track, but it’s still great fun in a
campy sort of way.
In honor of April Fool's Day, I thought I'd take a look at some of those goofy songs that bands often throw on a CD just for giggles. Maybe you love them, maybe you hate them or maybe they're a guilty pleasure that you really don't want people to know you like. Here's a look at a few of my favorites. This list is by no stretch of the imagination comprehensive. It's done completely off the top of my head, and I'm sure I've missed even a few that I enjoy. Please feel free to add your own.
AC/DC, "Big Balls" (Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, 1976). This one's become such a classic that it hardly belongs on this list. I've never known anyone who didn't laugh at this (barely) double entendre goof.
Aerosmith, "Big Ten-Inch Record" (Toys in the Attic, 1975). As with the first one on the list, this tune that draws its humor from the pregnant pause is a classic. But I still love it, and I've got to get Aerosmith on here.
Annihilator, "Kraf Dinners" (Never, Neverland, 1990). Sandwiched between heavy subject matter like environmental responsibility and dark tunes about insanity is this fun ode to mac and cheese. Somehow, it works.
Anthrax, "Startin' Up a Posse" (Attack of the Killer Bs, 1991). Anthrax has a few tunes that could fit on this list, but none quite as good as this ditty about Tipper Gore and the PMRC that manages to work in a thrash version of the "Bonanza" theme.
Body Count, "KKK Bitch" (Body Count, 1992). Body Count often used humor to make serious points, but this tune poking fun at racists is way over the top.
Bruce Dickinson, "Dive, Dive, Dive" (Tattooed Millionaire, 1990). I'd always thought of Bruce Dickinson as very proper and dignified until this song, filled with bad maritime sex puns, and it's companion piece "Zulu Lulu" arrived on his first solo record.
Guns 'n' Roses, "I Used to Love Her" (G'n'R Lies, 1990). You can't go wrong with Guns 'n' Roses' three-chord tongue-in-cheek ballad about a relationship gone wrong.
Infectious Grooves, "You Lie and Yo Breath Stank" (The Plague that Makes Your Booty Move, 1991). I'm not sure that Infectious Grooves belongs here because so many of their songs were tongue-in-cheek. Lyrically, this one is pretty bad, but for some reason I still love it.
Nuclear Assault, "Poetic Justice" (Something Wicked, 1993). While the killer title track was the centerpiece of this record, the band's take on a famous song from "The Sound of Music" has certainly given me my share of snickers over the years.
Pride & Glory, "I Hate Your Guts" (Pride & Glory, 1994). Basically Zakk Wylde's answer to GnR's "I Used to Love You," it covers similar ground with a southern twang.
Scatterbrain, "Don't Call Me Dude" (Here Comes Trouble, 1990). Like Infectious Grooves, I'm not sure if Scatterbrain belongs here because humor was their norm. But I can't resist this ode to a guy down on his luck with some serious thrash licks to back up the humor.
Suicidal Tendencies, "Institutionalized" (Suicidal Tendencies, 1983). "All I wanted was a Pepsi."
Tesla, "Tommy's Down Home" (Five Man Acoustical Jam, 1990). Having grown up around people like the one portrayed in the song, this tune always brings a smile to my face.
Van Halen, "Happy Trails" (Diver Down, 1982). Van Halen has a few tunes to choose from as well, including "Big Bad Bill" from this same record, but for some reason I've always had a special connection with their cover of "Happy Trails." ... bombadida, bombadida ...
Wrathchild America, "I Ain't Drunk" (3-D, 1991). I spent many nights tipping a glass to this cover of Albert Collins' classic drinking song.
Dweezil Zappa, "I Want a Yacht" (Havin' a Bad Day, 1986). While I love his cover of his dad's "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama," this tune featuring the screams of comedian Bobcat Godthwait is just too bizarre to not make the list.
